G-man is such a complex little boy yet he really isn't and is so happy to just be here. He is quick to hug, lives hard, and brings a special spirit to our home. He is the epitome of Ben and I mixed together...calm and inquisitive like Dad; curious and emotional like me. G-mans most overwhelming characteristic is his contentment with life. He just observes and loves being. He is the kindest old soul that I know.
I still remember the day he was born. I was so nervous because I already felt inadequate being a mother, and quite frankly didn't know how I could love another child as much as I loved my Princess. I woke that morning and had a doctor appointment. I was dialated to a 4-5 cm already. I was feeling crampy and just not comfortable. I went to my appointment and said that they thought if I took a brisk walk it would get things started. (brisk walk?? When you have an almost 10 pound baby pressing on your bladder and he's already half way out?? :0 LOL. So we walked Ben's parents neighborhood and sure enough those contractions started coming. I went to the hospital and I was 6 and feeling ok. Ben was starving so I told him to go get a burger and come back quick. He did that and then came back and turned on the TV. In his defense, I really was weathering the contractions just fine. All of a sudden I wanted the epidural!! The anesthesiologist was taking FOREVER (in my mind). He finally came and started the epidural. OUCH! I need to push the baby out NOW! He got it in, but I really don't think it did much (which was traumatic for me because I was so afraid of the pain).
G-man was born after 4 pushes and he was so BIG! They took him over to the bassinet and it seemed they were having a hard time getting him going and breathing correctly. He did finally start breathing, but they took him for observation. Ben went with G-man while I got settled into my room. In the mean time tyhe grandparents started coming to see how we were doing. They were all in the room and I kept saying, "Ben, take them to see the baby..." He kept putting it off and talking. Finally, I said Ben, take them out there. He paused and asked everyone to leave. A really awful feeling came over me. I knew something was wrong! He sat down on the bed and said that something was in fact wrong. He had a really bad wracketing sound in his chest. (heart murmur) and his oxygen kept going really low. This was the moment that my perfect magical world shattered. At this point we had no idea the extent of what was wrong. Long story short, we were discharged from the hospital and went straight to Primary Children's where they did tests, sonograms, and echocardiograms. I remember the poignant moment of sitting in the waiting room after having the last test done. The ultrasound tech has said, yes something is wrong, but "wasn't authorized" to tell us any more. Go sit in this waiting room with all these families that have very tired faces and VERY sick children. I just sat there with G-man in my arms and cried and cried. I felt my heart breaking. I would look up into these mothers' faces and see their pity and I knew they could feel my pain. I didn't know how this would affect my newborn babies life. How would we cope? FINALLY they called us back. He did in fact have a congenital heart defect among other things, but it would hopefully get better over time. It was better than we could hope for. It was a wait and see situation. Fast forward 5 years later and G-man is a healthy, happy boy with minimal restriction. We are so blessed!
I still remember the day he was born. I was so nervous because I already felt inadequate being a mother, and quite frankly didn't know how I could love another child as much as I loved my Princess. I woke that morning and had a doctor appointment. I was dialated to a 4-5 cm already. I was feeling crampy and just not comfortable. I went to my appointment and said that they thought if I took a brisk walk it would get things started. (brisk walk?? When you have an almost 10 pound baby pressing on your bladder and he's already half way out?? :0 LOL. So we walked Ben's parents neighborhood and sure enough those contractions started coming. I went to the hospital and I was 6 and feeling ok. Ben was starving so I told him to go get a burger and come back quick. He did that and then came back and turned on the TV. In his defense, I really was weathering the contractions just fine. All of a sudden I wanted the epidural!! The anesthesiologist was taking FOREVER (in my mind). He finally came and started the epidural. OUCH! I need to push the baby out NOW! He got it in, but I really don't think it did much (which was traumatic for me because I was so afraid of the pain).
G-man was born after 4 pushes and he was so BIG! They took him over to the bassinet and it seemed they were having a hard time getting him going and breathing correctly. He did finally start breathing, but they took him for observation. Ben went with G-man while I got settled into my room. In the mean time tyhe grandparents started coming to see how we were doing. They were all in the room and I kept saying, "Ben, take them to see the baby..." He kept putting it off and talking. Finally, I said Ben, take them out there. He paused and asked everyone to leave. A really awful feeling came over me. I knew something was wrong! He sat down on the bed and said that something was in fact wrong. He had a really bad wracketing sound in his chest. (heart murmur) and his oxygen kept going really low. This was the moment that my perfect magical world shattered. At this point we had no idea the extent of what was wrong. Long story short, we were discharged from the hospital and went straight to Primary Children's where they did tests, sonograms, and echocardiograms. I remember the poignant moment of sitting in the waiting room after having the last test done. The ultrasound tech has said, yes something is wrong, but "wasn't authorized" to tell us any more. Go sit in this waiting room with all these families that have very tired faces and VERY sick children. I just sat there with G-man in my arms and cried and cried. I felt my heart breaking. I would look up into these mothers' faces and see their pity and I knew they could feel my pain. I didn't know how this would affect my newborn babies life. How would we cope? FINALLY they called us back. He did in fact have a congenital heart defect among other things, but it would hopefully get better over time. It was better than we could hope for. It was a wait and see situation. Fast forward 5 years later and G-man is a healthy, happy boy with minimal restriction. We are so blessed!
G-man, we love you buddy, more than these words could portray. More than anything.
Garrett is such a little sweetie! Happy b-day little dude! We miss you guys!!! I'm so glad he's healthy and doing well. Is he sleeping better now that his tonsils are gone?
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Garrett's story. What an adorable guy. How heart breaking it must have been to find out something was wrong. And yet he has done so well.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks for thinking of me on the moms of tots board a while ago.
Your haircut is beautiful, by the way.
ahhh, Happy birthday little dude! I didn't remember that about Garrett's birth. Thanks for sharing. We're so glad that He is a happy, healthy boy!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Rach! I didn't know that about his birth! What a friend I am! I think that was the time I was getting ready to get married so I was in a different world. So thanks for sharing your feelings and emotions on that day! I am so glad he is healthy and I do have to say is he is going to be quite the looker as he gets older!! He is a cutie now! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteAngie
Okay, where was I when he was born?! I had no idea or I had forgotten...Wow! What a stud! Miracles happen. You are such a good Mom. I love reading your blog...you inspire & man we are just too far away. I'm ready for another cousin gathering.
ReplyDelete