Suzanne

Growing up, I always heard the jokes. The jabs and negative comments about mother in laws. It's enough to make a young woman dread the changes that would happen when you marry into a family and take a woman's son away.

When I started dating Ben, I remember the first time that I met his mother. I was surprised that I sensed that SHE was nervous to meet me. I didn't know what Ben had told her about me. Later I found out that he hadn't told her ANYTHING until about an hour before we were coming over; he told her that he wanted to marry me. She's thinking "WHAT? I didn't even know that you were dating anyone! Rachel WHO?" (I scolded him later for his insensitivity to his mother). We broke the ice and instantly connected. As Ben and I's relationship progressed, there were more and more opportunities for Suzanne and I to get to know each other and become comfortable. I learned that I could be JUST ME. She accepted me for me. And as you become more comfortable with someone, you can start showing those faults and insecurities that make us all

human. I've always felt safe that Suzanne genuinely loves me, no matter what. The way she's always be involved the perfect amount; giving a newly married couple the freedom to start our own family properly, without the expectations, pressures and influences from her own experiences. She was patient and watched us make our own stupid mistakes, never giving advise unless we solicited it. She is so good at checking in with us, just the right amount. In turn, I truly believe that Suzanne started to trust me, and I sometimes became that listening ear. She would confide in me and share with me things that I assume, not many others know. I would like to think that she trusts me with her emotions.

When princess was born, I then gained a full circle perspective of what a mother's love really is. Then I fully understood that Suzanne loves me completely. She loved that Ben and I were one and accepted that her son is a new man. We are a package deal and for that, I am eternally grateful.

It's the little things that count the most. It's Suzanne's practicality. It's her ability to never talk ill of others. Her ease to laugh whenever she hears a funny story about the kids. It's the mid-week call where she asks me all about my week and all the fun things we are doing. The email reminders to remember others. Her ability to think through (worry!) about everyone's feelings and be aware of our needs.

I love this woman. I LOVE this woman! I couldn't have dared or dreamed that in finding the most amazing man, that I would find his equally amazing mother that influenced and shaped him. She is the matriarch of our family. She is the soul. She can't leave yet. We need you Suzanne! We love you. Yesterday when I stood by her bedside and took her hand, full of wires; I told her I loved her, with tears streaming down my cheeks. She nodded her head up and down. Her Spirit confirmed to me that she KNOWS that I love her. And I know that she loves me. She is in the Lord's hands. I want it to go my way. But that's not always the way it works. At least I have no regrets. For that peace, I am grateful.