Moving up, not on

On the last day of July, my sweet mother in law succumbed to the trials of her earthly body and sweetly passed from this life. Being able to watch her pass was one of the most emotional moments of my life. In the weeks since her passing, I have felt her closer to me than ever. I keep looking for her, I keep hearing her voice, her boisterous laugh off in the other room, I hear her reading to my children. I miss her. My life still feels complete, even with her gone. It's focus is more on the best things. It's focus is up. She is just as involved and available for me and my children, but on a much deeper level. She can now know my heart, she can see the big picture.

Moving forward sometimes feels like a betrayal. As things start happening that she would have been there for, it pinches my heart. When I walk into their home, I still see the things that she loves. I go into her room and closet and all her beautiful jewelry still hangs there. She loved it. Her reading glasses still sit by her chair where she used to read. It seems unreal that just a month ago, she was here.

I've learned a lot of lessons the last few months. I've learned that I MUST live my life as it was meant to be lived. I can be better. There is no time like the present to live as Heavenly Father wants me to and to claim my full potential. I have so much potential. Suzanne has taught me that my mind must not hold back my body and my body must not hold back my mind. It's a clean slate. Moving forward is not an option. Life is different, but I can move up. And I will.